Most of us in life, learn how to love others before we actually learn to love ourselves.
How to care for people, how to be best for them, how to push through, how to stay busy and how to ignore our own needs.
We often take the act of loving others before loving ourselves as something unique, pure, and divine. This belief, however, teaches us to silence our own needs in the name of being good.
The praise that is received for being kind and loving, slowly starts getting tied to our sense of self worth. And we end up pouring so much love, just for keeping our identity, that it starts getting unnatural and nothing much is really left behind for us.
Even though we are aware of these facts, most of us are afraid to love ourselves.
Why?
Because self-love is often mistaken for self-ishness or even a prominent characteristic of narcissism. So, we are afraid to be labelled by these terms, we are afraid that the world will hate us for loving ourselves, and we are afraid that we will be left alone in the world.
But, let me tell you,
Self-love is okay. And self love is important.
And,
You won’t be a narcissist or selfish by choosing to love yourself.
What you can be is quiet opposite of what you think ! By loving yourself,
You can be the best version of yourself.
You can love yourself enough and share that love to the world.
You are also more likely to expect less from the world (in a good way).
Self love is beautiful!
Self love is an art… it is like a beautiful piece of a painting created by an artist. It takes time, it will test your patience, will want your creativity and dedication as you paint it and when done, it will demand a place where it can stay and look beautiful.
But the question here is, how to paint this beautiful picture in our life?
For this we need to understand the four core pillars upon which self love stands on.
The Four Core Pillars of Self Love
A) Self-Acceptance
Self acceptance starts when we start accepting who we are at this present moment.
Our presents carry the stories of past and they build our future stories.
So, accepting your current version will lessen the burden that you can carry from past into the present and future. It will also give room for reflections and improvements.
B) Self-Compassion
This is a simple act of being kind to yourself.
Compassion comes with the understanding that your struggles and sufferings in life are real, and some days can be tougher than the another.
Giving yourself all the kindness that you deserve and you need on those days, can feel like a warm hug.
C) Self-Care
Self-care is really simply.
It can be as simple as sleeping on time, eating on time, figuring out what works best for your schedule and doing the activities that actually benefit you and your wellbeing.
But we fail here as well. Why? Because we try doing things that has worked for others instead of asking what could work for me.
D) Self-Respect
Yes, this is the same self-respect that you are thinking about.
Sometimes it can look like creating boundaries, or saying ‘no’ to the things that you don’t want to do while on the other days it can look like staying true to yourself, or even standing tall and loud for yourself.
These four pillars incorporate so many other topics and areas as well. I can go on and on… and never stop.
Then, what can I do today? Where do I start?
It is not that complicated. You can start with small, simple steps while keeping these four pillars in your mind.
Start with believing in yourself.
Trust your capabilities, trust your hardwork, trust your patience, and most importantly trust your life.
Stop comparing yourself with others.
We all are the main character of our stories. We all have different capabilities, talent, stories, and a different life. Hold the pen as you write your own story into this world.
See your past mistakes as lessons, not as labels.
People usually judge other people from their past, good or bad, and you can let them can judge you, but you cannot let yourself judge you for that. Always remember you have the capacity to change your life and your story at any point, so don’t let your past mistakes make you numb or discouraged.
I know you still have one question lingering on your mind…..
How can I love myself and still love the world,
or in other words,
How to not give yourself the tags of self centered, selfish, and ugly, but also love yourself at the same time?
See, the idea here is to love yourself!
Love yourself enough so that you not are searching for the bits and pieces of that lacking love in other people.
Self love is simple, it simply means being yourself, choosing to be yourself, and staying true to your self.
Nothing complicated…
Don’t believe me?
Give it a try!
Believe me?
Also give it a try!
AnD, CoMe BaCK fOr mOrE sUcH bLoGs !
Works Cited
Sorry, there is none this time! It’s all my philosophy! 🙂
Ananta_Stree 
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